The second draft of the book has been sent to my editors.  I am excited, yet nervous.  I am starting to see that this has become a reality; its starting to sink in.  I finds myself thinking "I hope it makes more sense", "I hope it sounds better", "I hope this is it."  There are so many things that go through your mind when you are writing your first book.  You want to make sure it is perfect.  News flash, it will never be.  Even after it publishes, sells millions of copies, there will always be something you wish you did different.  The only thing to do know, wait.  It's daunting, frustrating, exciting all at the same time.  I want to move on and start writing the next book in the series (I have already started), but I am afraid that if I do, I might jinx myself and the first book will never get off the ground.  Get your head out of the negative view of your passions and just keep going. 

I almost gave up.  I feel like I have a second full time job.  I sometimes get impatient;I want to be finished.  I feel like the first book is always the hardest.  It can make or break you, that is why it drives you crazy to make sure it is perfect.  The only problem with that, it will never be perfect.  I want so much for this to happen that I stress.  I've set myself a writing schedule, but sometimes I can't discipline myself to follow it.  People ask me "Isn't this your dream?"  Yes, it is.  However, sometimes I feel overwhelmed and need to take a step back.  Sometimes you have to put in perspective everything around you.  After years of doubting myself to finish my book, I have a new sense of motivation.  Motivation to not look back and always wonder.  There is Greek script that I think really explains everything. 
                Meraki- Doing something with soul, creativity or love.  The essence of yourself that is put into your work.