Its been awhile since I posted anything.  Life gets in the way and I was not in any particular mood to write.  I did start reading again, after many months of staying away.  I had heard, you should not read while you are writing because the lines might get blurred.  The thing is, I have been in sort of a funk lately and every time I open my laptop to write, nothing come to me.  I decided to take a break from writing and pick up reading again.  It was interesting to find that I got my spark back.  My creativity started to come, and I began to write.  I feared I would get confused between my reading and my writing, but I found that they could co-exist.  I never strayed into that uncharted territory where my book sounded like what I was reading.  I was able to distinguish between the two, and I found my love to write again.  Sometimes you need a break, but I found my break lasted to long and I ever wondered if I would pick up writing again.  I'm still in the process of waiting to hear from a publisher-which is making me impatient-but at least I know that my love of writing has been there all along; just hiding under the service

These last couple weeks into a month I have taken a break from writing.  Call it writers block, lack of momentum.  Getting rejected from agents and publishers can put a real strain on your thinking and you will to ignore.  I have been stuck in this rut for a while now, and I can tell you, it sucks.  I'm trying really hard to get out of the funk, but no matter what I do, it doesn't go away.  Ugh, why is it so hard to get the thought of doubt out of your head?  Maybe because, I am not able to do what I have always dreamed of.  I live a moderately normal life, working at a 9-5 that gives me no real satisfaction, but pays the bills; mostly.  I go home and think about all the things I want to do and accomplish; start a blog, live the FIRE life (Financial Independence Retire Early) that I constantly read about.  Maybe one day. 

I have been a little busy as of late.  I just sent out my manuscript to a few publishers and just got rejected by one.  I realize it happens and I will continue to receive more.  I had toyed with the idea if traditional publishing was the way to go the first time around but now I am not so sure. I also began writing Newsletters at the beginning but decide it just does not work for me.  Should I go back to writing them?  As I wait to hear from a publisher, I am continuing to write the second book in my series; that way I can keep the ideas fresh in my mind.  I also work on other writing projects to to keep myself motivated and not to quit.  I try to stay positive and just hope that one day soon I can achieve my dream of becoming a successful published author.  I tend to forget about my website sometimes; seeing as I don' get much traffic.  Maybe I should try something different?    

How many times have you been thinking about one project while working on another?  This is the story of my writing life.  I am trying to get one project off the ground with constant ideas about something completely different vying for my attention.  I do my best to write everything down so I do not forget; however I might get caught up in that idea and leave my main story unattended.  It is called prioritizing.  I'm not really the best at this, I jump around from idea to idea.  Sometimes I get lost and cannot figure out what I am supposed to be working on?  Does this ever happen to you?  The genres are not even the same, they range from fantasy to thriller and back again.  I do not find anything particularly wrong with that, I just wish sometimes my brain would get on the same page.      

It seems like it has been a long holiday.  I spent my time sending emails to potential agents with either a rejection or no response.  It takes a toll sometimes, wondering if it is worth trying to achieve the ultimate goal.  People in my life keep telling me to not give up, keep going; even the most successful authors were rejected before they made it.  I think about it everyday.  The next step in the journey is to contact publishers.  I am trying to be patient, look ahead at what might happen; I'll tell you it is very hard.  I look around at my everyday life and realize what I want most is to be a successful author.  Some call it a pipe dream; like winning the lottery.  I say, how are you going to win if you don't play the game?  

The real work begins.  A week ago I began to submit to agents in the hopes of receiving representation.  I didn't realize it is harder to write an email then it is a book.  Everything is so precise, that sometimes I find it can take me longer to write an email then it is to write a chapter in a book.  Some tips: follow the submission guidelines to a 't'.  If the guidelines are not followed, your email will not be looked at.  Do not attach anything to your email unless you are asked; majority of agents want everything in the body of the email.  This might be a daunting task, but if you want your manuscript picked up by an agent and eventually a publisher, please follow the instructions.  Expect to get rejected also.  There are many reasons a book will be rejected, it is not always because the agent does not like your manuscript.  Keep in mind, you might get a lot of no's before you get a yes, so DO NOT give up.  If this is what you truly want, you will not let anything get in your way.  

Every now and again I wonder what I might have done different in my book.  How would it have evolved over the years or even would I be well on my way to being a full-time author?  I try not to look back and realize that I am where I need to be in my life at the moment.  Even now, I wonder if I made the right decisions in my book.  Did I make it convincing enough?  Does it flow? Does it make sense?  Are my characters likable? Can readers relate to them?  Have I given enough world building?  I think I will ask these questions throughout the series and my writing overall.  I have already taken the first big step in this journey; I finished my book.  The next step I believe will take the most time and effort.  Making sure the universe knows about me and my book.  Wish me luck. 

I sometimes stop and think about what lies ahead.  My manuscript is due in October and the next stages are to look for an agent and a publisher.  How long will it take for someone to pick it up?  Months? Years?  Never?  Is the manuscript good enough? Is there an audience for it?  This questions rack my brain almost everyday.  It is something I have wanted for so long, sometimes it is hard to imagine that it is a possibility that it could all work out.  That is where my focus needs to be.  I am on the road to accomplish something I have been working on for over fifteen years.  Just to be able to finish it, and potentially put it out into the world, has given me a high I have never felt before.  We were all meant for greatness.  Whether it is personal greatness or public.  The key is to keep going, even if you do not have the fight in you anymore.  My manuscript has gone so far beyond where it started, I'm actually enjoying the journey my characters are on.  There's more to come, and maybe that is the point.  

What is next in the journey?  Over fifteen years is a long time to be working on a passion project.  The moment when your editor tells you that your project is in the final stages of being over and ready for submission, gives you all kinds of feels.  I look back at where I started and where I am now.  So much has obviously changed.  My creativity, my discipline and the fact that I am even talking about submitting my manuscript.  I really never thought that I would make it this far in my journey because I actually gave up a few times.  You have the people in your life who make you think that it is a pipe dream; the trick is to realize deep inside that doing something you love and striving to make it happen, is never a pipe dream.  As long as you hold true to yourself.  

I never really thought that editing your own book could be very daunting and frustrating at time.  As I have said before, it is a full time job.  I feel like I have not only put my characters through a lot, I have also put myself as well.  I have read my book so many times that lines are starting to be blurred and I really just want to step away from it all.  Who knew that writing your first novel would be so much work!  When I started all this, I merely thought, I would find an editor, send them my manuscript, get some feedback on what might be best for the book, make changes where they needed to be, then move on.  Oh no.  Not so simple.  Depending on how much needs to be changed, what you thought would only take a few days, ends up taking months.  Nothing worth having is given easily; this is not a sprint, its a marathon.  Well, unless you're already a famous author.  I keep telling myself however, its worth it.